Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Northern Ireland's First Ho Iris Robinson steps out again; sans boytoy

NEWS ITEM: NI Prime Minister Peter Robinson's wife Iris made her first appearance since the scandal involving a boytoy some 40 years her junior (Joan Collins sez: "you go girl") broke some 15 months ago.

Iris (I could have a shot at her as well) and her husband DUP leader Peter appeared at a state dinner for the Queen at Dublin castle in honor of her Majesty's historic first visit to the former crown jewel of the Empire.
The last British monarch visited Ireland 100 years ago, shortly before Michael Collins, Tom Barry, Dan Breen and a host of other merry Munster men sent that "shower of hoors" (a.k.a., the "Black and Tans") scurrying back across the Irish Sea just in time to attend the Princess Consort Lord Louise Mountbatten's annual Cambridge cotillion for all future British queens about to emerge from the closet.  Oh those were the days my friend, we thought they would never end, we'd dance forever and a day. we'd live the life we choose, we'd FIGHT and NEVER lose, oh YES, THOSE WERE THE DAYS.

Great jokes about IRIS at that time were told me by the world's wittiest bartender, Kieran Murray @ McGuinness' in that old 'RA stronghold, Sunnyside, Queens in NYC. "Lord of the Queens" CS(B)I the GasBag now runs a combo gin joint/bath house on Queens Blvd. Only a matter of time till Bette Midler performs in the back garden over the summer to re-live her early career.

First joke: Peter Robinson goes to visit the optometrist, complaining that something is stuck in his Eye-ris.

Second joke: Official statement of the Parades commission on the Robinson's affair: "You may bang her as long and as hard as you like so long as you march up the traditional route."

I must say that some of the wittiest people I have ever met are from Fermanagh; must be the lingering spirit of Oscar Wilde.