Defining Deviancy Downwards: The Beat Rolls On!

http://abcnews.go.com/Health/breast-implants-83-senior-citizens-elect-plastic-surgery/story?id=14266043

An 83 year old woman in Orange County, CA (where else) has elected to get breast implants to "keep up with the kids". A widow of 10 years (13 grandkids and 12 great-grandkids), she is still working as a property manager and "wanted her children to be proud of what she looks like"; clearly, this must be a family of great substance and depth of character. Then again, having been forced to watch a few episodes of "Housewives of Orange County" with a female acquaintance, I can't say that "not-so-great"granny's decision comes as a surprise, given her place of residence.

Cats on the prowl! Kilkenny books slot in All Ireland Hurling Final Sept 4th

Kilkenny set up a potential rubber match with defending All Ireland hurling champions Tipperary today with a 2-19 (25) to 1-16 (19) victory over Waterford today at Croke Park before a crowd of 31,634. Richie Hogan's 2 goals bookended the first half scoring the Cats, who led 2-10 to 1-7 at the break. Though Waterford rallied late in the second half behind the inspirational play of veteran John Mullane, it was not enough to prevent the "black and amber" from reaching the finals for a sixth consecutive year. A third consecutive Tipp-Kilkenny final match-up looks all but certain as their semi-final opponent, Dublin are prohibitive underdogs due to the loss of 4 key players to injury, beginning with their Leinster final loss to Kilkenny.
In the Minor hurling semi-final match-up between Clare and Galway, the Tribesman from Connaught got a tying goal off a scramble in the large square as the last minute of regular time wound down to force an extra session. Galway pulled away in the second session of extra time to a 1-23 (26) to 1-18 (21) victory over the Banner to secure a place in the Minor final. Throw-in for the Minor final on the first Sunday of September is at 1:30pm (8:30am EDT) when Galway will take on the winner of next Sunday's second Minor semi-final between Dublin and Waterford.

US Debt Downgraded by S&P for First Time Ever from AAA to AA+

Having worked in the financial services biz for 23 years, let me explain this in no uncertain terms: Markets are apolitical, or post-partisan, to use Obama supporters favorite description of him. The Congress and the President may pull the wool over those Americans whose knowledge of markets and economic issues is at best perfunctory, but the market (specifically the bond market, which is 30 times the size of the stock market ) cannot be duped. Like the old Chiffon (margarine) commercial, the market is like Mother Nature, it can't be fooled. God help us all if we don't fix our structural deficit problem quickly. Read more about the consequences of a world with the US as a reduced economic power in Mark Steyn's new book, "After America", available in bookstores on Monday, August 8th.

  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LLrTPrp-fW8

Dana Rosemary Scallon to run for President of Ireland? The answer is YES

It appears all but certain that Eurovision winner Dana Rosemary Scallon will seek the Presidency of Ireland according to a story on the Irish Times website. The folding of Senator David Norris' campaign has opened up an opportunity for Dana to run a second time for President. She was defeated by Mary McAleese in 1997 in her prior campaign. As an 18 year old who performed under her maiden name, Rosemary Brown, she captured Ireland's hearts and imagination when she won the Eurovision song contest (Ireland's first ever win) with her performance of "All Kinds of Everything" (see link below).
She is very strongly pro-life, anti-divorce and was a feverently anti-Euro opponent of the Nice Treaty back in 2001. Dana would, of course, need to win the nomination first before she can run.

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yOnvZt1ktZw&playnext=1&list=PL93582F4F09112BA0

HEAVY on the MAYO; Throw away the CORK! Mayo 1-13 Cork 2-6

They say that even a blind squirrel finds an acorn; also, a stopped clock is right twice a day. Well, Mayo found the acorn today and, after going 0-2 on my picks on Saturday (Roscommon and Kildare both lost), I was spot on today with Kerry and Mayo. While Kerry's double digit victory over Munster rivals Limerick was expected, given their earlier meeting, Mayo's 4 point victory over defending All Ireland champion Cork was the shock result of the year. Heros for Mayo were everywhere, particularly Andy Moran, Ger Cafferkey and Richie Feeney. It was Kevin McLoughlin's 22nd minute goal that brought Mayo back into the game after Cork stormed out to 1-4 (7) to 0-1 in the 16th minute. Mayo's youthful panel scored a victory over Cork for the first time since 1916 though they will be hard pressed in 3 weeks to beat a resurgent Kerry squad which seems re-energized after their 2010 quarter-final loss to Down. For now, let's not dwell on Mayo's road ahead but instead celebrate the fantastic victory of Mayo's footballers despite being a 5 to 1 underdog. Here's to the Green and Red of Mayo and the Saw Doctors' musical tribute to to them:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EdwFEAxJyic

Fairytale of Tel Aviv or West Bank La Cage Aux Folles?

It seems as if the West Brit brigade (those inside the Pale and their fellow travellers in the Irish media and academia) have hit a pothole once again on the road to electing David Norris as Ireland's First Queen, correct that, President.  Mr. Norris has "blown out" a third wheel on his campaign with the revelation that he wrote a clemency letter to the Israeli courts in 1997 on behalf of his "partner", Ezra Yizhak Nawi, who was convicted of having sex with an underage Palestinian youth in 1992. Senator Norris' campaign for President had previously had run a foul with the revelations that first, in his defense of Cathal O Searcaigh in a 2002 Magill's magazine article, he spoke of ancient Greek society where men would take young men as lovers as being a "model". Then, in another interview, he said "I do not believe in age of consent", a quote which became a front page headline in the Irish Sun. Despite these horrible faux paus which reflect poorly on his sense of judgment and certainly draw into question his fitness for the largely ceremonial office of President of Ireland, Mr Norris' candidacy remained alive and well till Friday when this latest revelation arose. This gaffe, however, may prove fatal to Senator Norris' campaign in that two of his leading campaign staff  resigned on Friday. Particularly deadly to his campaign is the fact the victim of statutory rape is Palestinian and Mr. Norris' lover is Israeli. For those of you who maybe unaware of "the lay of the land" in Irish politics (no pun intended), the Palestians are the "cause celebre" for two reasons: one, their overlords in the left wing British media tell them so and secondly, the Palestinans are lower on the global totem pole of victimhood than the Irish themselves, giving the Irish a chance to flex their moral superiority by their support to those who have been more screwed over by the Brits than even themselves. You may recall that a few weeks back the Gaza flotilla Aid ship MV Saoirse was damaged while in a Greek port preparing to sail to Israel. Many Irish demanded that Israel apologize for the sabotage, but a member of the opposition party in the Knesset described the damage to the ships' propeller as "an act of God".  If you drop the "G" say a "Mass" and re-jigger the letters (Mossad), then yes, that Knesset member is indeed correct.

In musical tribute to Senator Norris' campaign which is sinking quicker than the Titanic, I give the following two numbers:

For Mr. Norris' former partner and Palestinian boytoy lover: "Good" by Better than Ezra:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o3TQSaqHBtM

And for Mr. Norris himself, Soul Asylum's "Leave Without a Trace"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yNWR3OenaPk&ob=av2e

REAL FOOTBALL is BACK! No, not the NFL, the GAELIC variety!

The August Bank Holiday weekend (Monday) is when the Gaelic football championship heads into the homestretch as the All Ireland Quarter-finals signify that the third Sunday in September is but 7 weeks away.  The quarter-final participants are but 2 wins away from an opportunity to bring SAM home. 
Let's look into our crystal ball (Waterford of course) and make some predictions:

4th Round Qualifier Sat July 30th 4pm (11am EDT)
       Tyrone v Roscommon

PREDICTION: Tyrone 1-8 Roscommon 0-13
Just a guess that Tyrone's aging halfback line will have trouble with Roscommon's pacy half-forwards and that 23 year old wonder Donie Shine will return to form after a lacklustre Connaught Final in monsoonlike conditions. Tyrone with many of the great soldiers of its' 3 AI victories ('03, '05 and '08) is an old team, such squads don't get better, they just get older.

QUARTER-FINALS

Donegal v Kildare Sat July 30th 6pm (1pm EDT)

PREDICTION: Kildare 2-13 Donegal 1-9
I fancy Kildare to gallop to an easy win as Donegal's recent Croke Park history, particularly in the Quarter-finals, has been a bigger horror show than even Mayo's disastrous appearances (largely confined to AI Finals). Quarter-final thrashings in 2003 (Dublin in a replay) and 2009 (against Cork, a match that was over at half time) will weigh heavily on Donegal's psyche; the 2004 Ulster Final against Armagh played in Croke Park was a total blowout as well. Donegal can always be counted for at least one horrible turnover in their half of the field because of over-elaboration and too much handpassing. Even GAA rising star Michael Murphy will not be enough to overcome a Kildare panel has picked up steam on its' backdoor journey since losing to Dublin. The ageless John Doyle of Kildare would be an early favorite for Footballer of the Year honors.

Kerry v Limerick Sun July 31st 2pm (9am EDT)

PREDICTION: Kerry1-14 Limerick 1-9
A rematch of the Munster semi-final held on the June Bank holiday Saturday night in Limerick before 35,000 spectators disguised as empty seats and about 5000 people just killing time (at least I was) before the Saw Doctors' performance that evening at Dolan's Warehouse on the Limerick Dock Road. Kerry's 1-26 to 3-9 was not representative of Kerry's dominance of the contest, particularly in the second half. Two late Limerick goals were window dressing on a bad beating. That said, I look forward to Limerick  pushing Kerry in a much tighter contest this time as Stephen Lucey and Mark O' Riordan have been sprung from the hurling panel. Stephen Kelly and 2 others return from injury as well.

Cork v Mayo Sun July 31st 4pm (11am EDT)

PREDICTION: Cork 1-11 Mayo 0-15
Not since 1916 has Mayo beaten Cork in the championship, Why now? Cork's dominating win over Down will do them little good in terms of sharpness; the ankle injury to Daniel Goulding will be a bigger handicap as Cork loses a reliable left-footed free taker. Mayo has always been an enigma: every time you expect a big performance from, they fizzle; when little is expected, they stand tall (Tyrone 2004 Qtr-final). I may be crazy but this youthful Mayo panel seems not to be weighed down by the ghosts of the past as evidenced by Enda Varley's fearless match-clinching point in the Connaught Final, taken without hestitation from about 25 metres out along the left sideline. Cork has the superior footballing talent but has a rapidly aging panel; Mayo has the youth and hunger.  To quote John Paul II at his 1979 Galway mass for the young of Ireland, "I believe in youth".

Obama Care Coming to America SOON!

Checkout below what happens when governments keep on spending, including universal healthcare, until the music stops on the merry-go-round of deficit spending. The results are not to the liking of many. Great link to the article on Mark Steyn's Ports of Call roundup.

http://www.elpais.com/articulo/english/Catalonia/to/close/one/in/healthcare/centers/over/summer/elpepueng/20110726elpeng_8/Ten

The Church Bashing Continues on IC (Irish Central) amongst it's "Ignorant Children"

Ironically, I just finished my own personal literary equivalent of a root canal this week, I was finally able to slog through to the finish of D'Niall O'Dowd's autobiography "An Irish Voice". While the puffery, self
adulation and praise were "beyond the Pale" (pun intended since Mr. O'Dowd hails from Drogheda which was inside the Pale), it was illuminating in that it provided great insight into D'Niall's psychoses and fetishes, particularly his habitual bashing of the Catholic Church at every opportunity. Yet, Da NOD and his minions in various publications, chose a Simon and Garfunkel mode (as in the "Sounds of Silence") when the Fairytale of Kathmandu episode exploded back in 2007-8. Not once did any of Mr. O'Dowd's publications ever do an op-ed piece or commentary on the "pride of Donegal": gay Irish
language poet Cathal O' Searcaigh (Charles Sharkey), a man who parades around in African garb because as a homosexual in Ireland he feels "simpatico" with the plight of the black/African man. Now,
back to Da NOD's less than epic tome wherein he reveals the roots of his hatred toward the Catholic Church, you see Da NOD attended Drogheda CBS where a couple of the Christian brothers cuffed him about a bit in a futile and fruitless attempt to knock some sense into his thick Irish skull. Sadly, they were unsuccessful as Mr. O'Dowd reveals "I repeated my senior year in college (high school) so I might get into a better school". Translation from Irish "code": he flunked his leaving cert exam and had to repeat his senior year; American "code": the thick cnut (sic) was "left back". For the record, Da NOD is now
"left" forward, center, right and port side as well; like Taniste Eamon Gilmour of the Labor Party, he is a "Sticky" bastard (see Hanley and Millar's 2009 book, The Lost Revolution: The Story of the Official IRA and the Socialist Workers' Party).

Check out the latest literary "reversals" (to use the term of July 4th Coney Island hot-dog eating) from the unwashed at IC: in this case, Molly Muldoon, who at the ripe old of age of 25 posits herself as a shaper of opinion and Mrs NOD (i.e., "beard"), Debbie McGoldrick who knows so much about Ireland because she grew up in the Jewish hamlet of Syossett on the south shore of Long(k) Island (FYI: the "k" is not silent).
You have now concluded the educational portion of your reading; click on the links below for the literary equivalent of "empty calories".

http://www.irishcentral.com/story/news/new-york-state-of-mind/are-ireland-and-the-catholic-church-finally-getting-a-divorce-126390923.html

http://www.irishcentral.com/story/news/new-york-state-of-mind/are-ireland-and-the-catholic-church-finally-getting-a-divorce-126390923.html

Entitlements, Entitlements Everywhere and not a penny to pay them; Aussie woman looks for workman's comp for injuries during sex on business trip

Really, you can't make this stuff up. Mark Steyn's Ports of Call column has the link below:

http://www.heraldsun.com.au/news/more-news/public-servants-motel-sex-compo-claim/story-fn7x8me2-1226102406812

This story would be hilarious if not for the fact that it is a window into the creeping sense of entitlement permeating the Western (first) world, which is rapidly going down an economic sinkhole because of unsustainable benefits. This Aussie woman, who was injured by a falling light fixture in a hotel room during a robust sexual encounter, seriously believes that her injuries, because they occurred on a business trip, should entitle her to workman's comp benefits. Good thing she didn't contact HIV as no doubt that would be the responsibility of her employer for not providing her with condoms for her business trip. In the words of the late Daniel Patrick Moynihan, we continue to "define deviancy downward".

IC Update: Budding New Writer Bursts on the Scene; You Get What You Pay For

Whenever I am in the mood for amusement, I wander over to Irish Central and never fail to be disappointed. The latest laugh is D'Niall's newest ingenue, Jordana Kozupsky. Special "K", after some minimal investigation, is a 21 year old college junior at Union College in Schenectady, NY., class of 2012. Her journalistic resume prior to joining the "literary lions" at IC (also known as "Ignorant Children") consists of high school newspaper articles and a letter to the Editor at the New York Times on the topic of "tutoring for the already brainy," where she expanded the debate to add that "she was lucky that her parents didn't criticize her for a few bad grades; instead, her parents asked of her that she just try her best." Given that her publisher Niall flunked his first Leaving Cert try, she should feel right at home at IC (also known as Ignorant Clowns). Also, the web's leading purveyor of "fine Irish whines", is the perfect place for Ms. Kozupsky who was diagnosed her freshmen year as "lactose, gluten and fructose intolerant", according to the Union College student newspaper Concordiensis. Thankfully, though, Jordana so far is free Celiac Disease (the original gluten condition) according to the student paper. Wonder how Ms. Kozupsky hooked up with Da NOD? Well, let's see if we can connect the dots: Jordana hails from Chappaqua, NY, where she would be a neighbor of our former commander in briefs, William Jefferson Clinton (post-Presidential secret service code name: BJ 4 Blythe), who of course had previously shown a fondness for nubile coeds as well as portly pepperpots. The NOD is a well known Clintonista sycophant type who has previously exhibited a propensity to assume the ostrich position to ignore behavior that most decent God-fearing people would be offended by. Just call me Dick "Effin" Tracy, thank you.

By the way, read Jordana's list of top ten Irish writers (see link below) where she omits George Bernard Shaw, William Butler Yeats and John Millington Synge for literary heavyweights such as Anne Enright, John Banville and John McGahern. Also, she states that Brendan Behan "spent most of his time in pubs", except for a 14 year gaol sentence and a profilic body of work he produced. Oh Vey, as my Jewish brethren would say.

http://www.irishcentral.com/roots/Our-top-ten-Irish-novelists-of-all-time-126080063.html?page=2


At IC, Ms Kozupsky should fit right in with the preternaturally stupid Kelly Fincham, who has recently re-appeared at IC following a hiatus. Ms. Fincham, in November, 2009, suggested that Notre Dame drop football like Hofstra University (where she is an adjunct Professor of Journalism, may God help those kids) had just done at that time. Of course, the fact that football is a huge revenue generator and profit center at Notre Dame wouldn't factor into Ms. Fincham's thought processes; nor would the $ 15 million annual NBC television contract, the $30 plus million in royalties from apparel sales or the revenue from alumni contributions (minimum of $150 annually for entry into the football ticket lottery for the school's 100,000). Shortly (as in two weeks later) after Ms. Fincham suggested the "Fighting Irish" drop football, Forbes magazine ranked Notre Dame as the second most valuable ($108 million) football program if it were a free standing business. Ms. Fincham's cluelessness about the University emblematic of Irish America is not really surprising given that she was born and lived in England till she was 9, and then moved to Drogheda, a town in County Louth, just north of Dublin that was considered part of the Pale. Given the propensity of D' Niall O' Dowd to surround himself with people from Drogheda, I like to refer to IC as the Wee County (Louth is the Rhode Island of Ireland) Boob Society, home of the Triple D's, as in Drogheda Dimwits and Dumbarses. Sadly, Mr. O'Dowd is on the Advisory Council of the Irish Studies program at Notre Dame. How did the Clown Prince of the unASSimilated Irish in America become affiliated with the increasing less prestigious (by the day unfortunately for this degree holder) beacon of Catholic higher education? It seems that Don Keough, former CEO of Coca-Cola, had put a bottling plant in Ireland in the early 1980's in a town where Martin Naughton (the space heater King of the British Isles), a sponsor of the Keough-Naughton Institute for Irish Studies, happened to hail from. Anyone care to take a lucky guess what town in Ireland that Coca-Cola bottling plant was built in? How about DROGHEDA.; and guess whose brother Michael was the mayor of Drogheda?  You got it: Da NOD, D' Niall O' Dowd himself. Mr. O Dowd, suddenly went from bankrupt newspaper publisher (and former housepainter) in San Francisco to founder/publisher of Irish America Magazine in New York City, then the Irish Voice newspaper and the Irish Central website. A January, 2010 article in the The Sunday Business Post (Ireland's WSJ) identified Naughton and Keough as the investors behind IrishCentral.com to the tune of $1.2 million. As I learned doing compliance examinations on Wall Street early in my career, all you need to do is follow the money. Mr. O' Dowd belongs at Notre Dame as much as his pal Bubba Clinton belongs in the College of Cardinals.

The Donkey Chronicles UPDATE; IC Columnist Cormac Eklof (i.e. The "Donkey Tamir Goodman") Fulminates Once Again. Would Someone Please Fumigate the Irish Voice as it has a rodent problem

Of all the clowns masquerading as writers on his website IRISH CENTRAL that Niall O' Dowd (aka, The NOD) rolls out, there is no more odious than former mASSachussets denizen Cormac Eklof. According to his bio, Mr. Eklof is a Bostonian AND former "Irish semi-pro baseball player" (that's not a misprint, typo or output from a drunk blogger), who at the conclusion of his storied career for the Dublin Donkeys, has mistakenly entered the field of journalism under the delusional notion that he has something to say that people would want to read. His view of the world is strictly Boston-centric as 75% of his putrid output relates to someone or something that tangentially is connected with "BAHston" (sic). Since he lives in Dublin after the conclusion of his illustrious baseball career as the "plastic Paddy" version of Tamir Goodman, the select few who click on IC must suffer through his pontifications about Premiership soccer as well as all things Boston.  For those of you with short memories, Tamir Goodman was a 17 year-old Orthodox Jewish basketball player from Baltimore who in a tsunami of media stories/segments (Sports Illustrated, NY Times, CNN  and ESPN) was christened (no pun intended) with the moniker "the Jewish Jordan". This was the most back-handed compliment since the late actor Spalding Gray was dubbed "the WASPy Woody Allen. See the link below for a sample of Eklof's literary regurgitation:

http://www.irishcentral.com/story/sport/from-the-bleachers/

One good thing, though, is that when reading his column you will not find yourself in "anal distress", such as is the case were you to read his fellow IC columnist caHER O'Doherty, the chief scribe for all the gay news that's fit to print. For the record, according to a January, 2010 article in Ireland's SUNDAY BUSINESS POST, Irish Central was funded by a $1.2 million investment from Don Keough and Martin Naughton. These would be the same folks who have funded the Keough-Naughton Institute of Irish Studies at the University of Notre Dame, henceforth to be known as "Plastic Paddy U" or the University of West Britannia.

Enviro-whackos ASSail Beckhams for having too many kids; How about these critics joining the Hemlock Society and be part of the solution rather than just a propogator of the situation

http://pajamasmedia.com/tatler/2011/07/21/enviros-slam-the-beckhams-for-having-too-many-kids/

Now, this may come as a shock to those who know me, but I am going to bat for David "Spice Fairy" Beckham and his female impersonator "bride"(Poss looks like a dude from the neck up) over the criticism directed at them for "overbreeding" (choosing to have a fourth child). Simon Ross, Chief Executive of the Optimum Population Trust, issued the following statment in the Guardian:

http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2011/jul/17/population-control-beckham-family?INTCMP=SRCH

Mr. Ross, of the Optimum Population Trust, an organization that campaigns for the “gradual decrease of the population to sustainable levels,” had this to say: “The Beckhams, and others like London mayor Boris Johnson, are very bad role models with their large families.” He went on to state, “There’s no point in people trying to reduce their carbon emissions and then increasing them100% by having another child.”

How about this Simon, why  don't you have a "Zero Pop" ball @ Balmoral (Prince Charles buys into your nonsense, so I am sure that he will be happy to host). Since some folks in the South Armagh "engineering" department periodically wax nostalgic about the "glory days" of the Troubles  (see video below of Bruce performing one of his greatest hits, Glory Days, at Hyde Park in London, about 2 years after the Fighting Men of Crossmaglen performed one of their "greatest hits" in Hyde Park as well)  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gUyOZS-PyTA.  Perhaps, the lads could kill two birds with one stone (pun intended), when they re-enact one of their greatest hits and, at the same time, Simon, greatly help you achieve your desired goal of reducing the population. Thank you, God,for blessing me with the wisdom of Solomon and the wicked wit of Jonathan Swift. Yes, Simon, to dimwits like yourself, life must seem unfair, but C'est la vie, as Voltaire might say.

IN Man Barred from Donating Blood WHY? He appeared to be GAY!

http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/lookout/man-says-rejected-blood-bank-seeming-gay-151627659.html

While this story appears to be an outrageous example of  homopohobia and a violation of the potential donor's civil rights, it is in fact standard operating procedure in the field of blood collection.  As anyone who has ever donated blood for a Red Cross blood drive at work, before you donate, you are asked to complete a rather extensive questionnaire with such probing questions as:
Since 1977, have you done any of the following:
        - had homosexual relations with a man;
        - visited sub-Saharan Africa, had sex with someone from Africa or someone who lived in Africa
        - ever used a needle to take drugs or steroids not prescribed by a doctor
How does the Red Cross get away with asking such questions? FDA guidelines put in place in 1983 to ensure the safety of the blood supply for patients requiring transfusions. You may recall that tennis great Arthur Ashe contracted the AIDS virus from a transfusion given during his 1983 open heart surgery. Why has the FDA not changed these guidelines despite the development of a test to screen blood for the HIV? The answer is that the test for HIV does not recognize the virus itself, but the antibodies to the virus that develop in the bloodstream.These antibodies, however, can have an incubation period of up to 6 months; hence, obtaining the sexual history of donors remains critical. During my career as an Investment Advisor in the 90's, one of my customers was the head of the blood bank at John Hopkins Hospital in Baltimore; he told me the following with respect to AIDS testing: the only way to be 100% certain that some doesn't have the AIDS virus is to test them, lock them in a room by themselves for 6 months, and then test them again. Clearly, the careful screening of potential donors' sexual history is a better alternative. I am sure that the folks over at Irish Central will feel otherwise.

Patrick Kennedy Weds Jersey Girl; what about a West Village guy, Gay Marriage now legal in NY. If you're Irish Paddy, come out of the closet!

Patrick Kennedy, son of the late Edward "No MOORE" (thank God, he's no effin' more ) Kennedy, was married today at the Kennedy compound in Hyannisport, MASS before the "usual suspects".  His bride, a divorced schoolteacher and mother of one is the former Amy Petitgout of BRIGantine, NJ (no nautical Chappaquiddick jokes at this time please). Given that a DC publican once told me that Patrick Kennedy's problem wasn't drugs and alcohol but sexual dissonance (he would like to be gay, but he can't because he's a Kennedy and has a family tradition to uphold), I must wonder if Paddy Boy married Ms. Petitgout because he thought he would have a shot at her distant relation, former Notre Dame and NFL NY Giant lineman Luke Petitgout. For those of you unaware of this important fact, NO KENNEDY HAS EVER GRADUATED FROM NOTRE DAME! Many of the Kennedy litter have graduated from Boston College or BC as it known to their alums, or "Back-Up College", as it is known to Notre Dame graduates. Every "Domer's (ND grads) favorite joke is: What does every BC grad possess that an ND grad will never own? Answer: a rejection letter from Notre Dame. If I have offended any of you HC (Hyannis compound) Irish, well, that's the way thwe spud get mashed.

Roxanne Gets the Red Light; ND Board Term shorter than John Paul I

News Item: Notre Dame News - Roxanne Martino elected to Notre Dame's board of trustees

On May 10, 2011, Roxanne (O'Brien) Martino was appointed to the Board of Trustees of the University of Notre Dame (see link above); on June 8, 2011, she resigned from the Board (see link below) because of fallout from the revelation that she was a regular contributor to the abortion promoting group Emily's List, a fact first disclosed by the Cardinal Newman Society, which monitors Catholic Universities. Subsequently, after Ms. Martino's contributions to the group were disclosed, the Sycamore Trust, a group of Notre Dame Alumni dedicated to preserving the University's Catholic identity, began to beat the drums of protest against her appointment as well. Congrats to Bill Dempsey and the Sycamore trust gang, combined with the dropping of the charges by the University against the ND88 (protesters arrested at a prayer vigil on campus at the 2009 commencement), they appear to be on a roll of late.

News Item: Martino Resigns from Notre Dame board

Let's us wish Ms. Martino well on her departure with a video tribute from the Police: YouTube/Police

BACK FROM HIATUS & IRELAND VISIT

Reviews of the Queen & Obama visits along with the bizarre candidacy of Niall O' Dowd for President of Ireland to follow in the next week.

BIFFO ALERT: BIFFO El Supremo, the POTUS, expected to arrive in Moneygall today around 3pm BE VERY AFRAID!

Garda Siochana were on high alert after Moneygall residents were terrified by the prospect of a thin, black man wearing athletic wear of as of yet unknown American street gang (green and gold are the colors) roaming the streets of Moneygall looking to skin a CAT, preferably of Kilkenny origin. See story below:

News Item: Offaly Independent News-Obama

Obama may "pass over" Moneygall; blames 10,000 maniacs

NEWS ITEM: Bad weather (RAIN AND HIGH WINDS) may prevent Obama from going to his ancestral "homeland" on Monday. IrishCentral.com-bad weather

Obama, who must always assess blame for everything bad that happens, is debating whether to pin the blame on fellow Irishwoman Natalie Geraldine O'Shea Merchant and her 1987 hit "Like the Weather" .

UCC Professor Johnny Murphy Bows Down Once Again

Revision UCC historian Johnny Murphy jokes with the Queen about the burying of the Queen Victoria statue by Irish republicans.  In case you didn't know, Johnny Murphy came to the defense of the Black and Tans when "The Wind That Shakes The Barley" was released, saying that the atrocities committed by them were exaggerated in the film. RTE's Brendan O' Hehir responded with his satirical poem "The Gentle Black and Tan" (see below):


THE GENTLE BLACK AND TAN

Come all you staunch revisionists
And listen to my song,
It's short and it's unusual
And it won't detain you long.
It's all about a soldier
Who has carried history's can,
Who dodged Tom Barry and Dan Breen
The gentle Black and Tan.

'Twas the curse of unemployment
That drove him to our shore.
His jacket black and trousers tan
Like a badge of shame he wore.
"Subdue the rebel Irish
And shoot them when you can!"
"May God forgive me if I do,"
Prayed the gentle Black and Tan.

The burning of Cork city
Was indeed a mighty blaze.
The jewellers' shops were gutted
Not before the spoils were shared.
Gold and silver ornaments,
Rings and watches for each man,
"But I only struck the matches,"
Said the gentle Black and Tan.

Croke Park and Bloody Sunday
Was our hero's greatest test.
The spectators on the terraces
Nigh impossible to miss.
With salt tears his eyes were blinded
And down his cheeks they ran,
So he only shot Mick Hogan
The gentle Black and Tan.

So take heed you blinkered Nationalists
Fair warning take from me.
If you want to live in safety
And keep this land at sea.
Take heed of our three heroes
Murphy, Edwards and Yer Man,
Who will sing the fame and clear the name
Of the gentle Black and Tan.

By Breandan O hÉithir

Related Link: http://www.anphoblacht.com

Ruth Dudley Edwards: I'm Proud to be BOTH irish and British

NEWS ITEM: Ditto sez SIR ANTHONY O' REILLY, Ambassador  Rooney's "Irish mentor". To paraphrase my Jewish brethren: "Oy Vey". One cannot have one's cake and eat it too, much as one may try.

independent.ie: "I'm proud to be Irish and I'm proud to be British too

Northern Ireland's First Ho Iris Robinson steps out again; sans boytoy

NEWS ITEM: NI Prime Minister Peter Robinson's wife Iris made her first appearance since the scandal involving a boytoy some 40 years her junior (Joan Collins sez: "you go girl") broke some 15 months ago.

Iris (I could have a shot at her as well) and her husband DUP leader Peter appeared at a state dinner for the Queen at Dublin castle in honor of her Majesty's historic first visit to the former crown jewel of the Empire.
The last British monarch visited Ireland 100 years ago, shortly before Michael Collins, Tom Barry, Dan Breen and a host of other merry Munster men sent that "shower of hoors" (a.k.a., the "Black and Tans") scurrying back across the Irish Sea just in time to attend the Princess Consort Lord Louise Mountbatten's annual Cambridge cotillion for all future British queens about to emerge from the closet.  Oh those were the days my friend, we thought they would never end, we'd dance forever and a day. we'd live the life we choose, we'd FIGHT and NEVER lose, oh YES, THOSE WERE THE DAYS.

Great jokes about IRIS at that time were told me by the world's wittiest bartender, Kieran Murray @ McGuinness' in that old 'RA stronghold, Sunnyside, Queens in NYC. "Lord of the Queens" CS(B)I the GasBag now runs a combo gin joint/bath house on Queens Blvd. Only a matter of time till Bette Midler performs in the back garden over the summer to re-live her early career.

First joke: Peter Robinson goes to visit the optometrist, complaining that something is stuck in his Eye-ris.

Second joke: Official statement of the Parades commission on the Robinson's affair: "You may bang her as long and as hard as you like so long as you march up the traditional route."

I must say that some of the wittiest people I have ever met are from Fermanagh; must be the lingering spirit of Oscar Wilde.

Charges Against ND88 Dropped; Arrested at 2009 Notre Dame Commencement Protesting Obama's Honorary Degree

NEWS ITEM: Charges Against ND88 Dropped by Prosecutor as Requested by the University of Notre Dame

The St. Joseph County Prosecutor Michael Dvorak has agreed to drop the charges against the 88 people arrested for peaceful protest in prayer over the awarding of an honorary degree to President Barack Obama at the 2009 University of Notre Dame commencement. The protest was over Notre Dame's contravention of the US Conference of Bishops' 2004 policy against Catholic Universities awarding honors to those supporting policies not in accord with Church teaching. The fine legal work of the Thomas More Society was responsible for this hard fought legal victory as Notre Dame was looking at a lawsuit as the deadline for filing approached.

Bill Dempsey (ND Class of 1952) and his gang at the  (Sycamore Trust) and Dr. Charles E. Rice (Professor Emeritus, ND Law School) were hugely supportive in rallying troops to support the ND88 in their long battle.
Check out Dr. Rice's book  ("What happened to Notre Dame"), which details the University's descent into secularization. His book is for sale at Amazon.

Bin Laden's Guns on the Ground; Should Have Heeded Bob Dylan's Advice

News Item: Irishtimes.com: Bin Laden's Guns Found Unfired After He Was Killed

OBL should have listened to Bob Dylan's lyrical advice from "Knockin' on Heaven's Door": "Mama don't put my guns in the Ground"; perhaps he preferred the musical stylings of Johnny Cash: "Don't Wear Your Guns to Town, Son". Nah, in all likelihood, he was following the words of Maria Muldaur's 70's pop hit "Midnight at the Oasis" and "Sending His Camel to Bed" (could he have been far behind). OBL clearly must have drank too much of Obama's verbal Kool-Aid (the Cairo speech cow tailing to the Muslim world view), believing he was never in danger and would have received adequate warning through his "network" before he would be taken out by the US. Guess NOT, huh!

Ahhhh-Nold, You shouldn't have COME back while the maid was ovulating

News Item:  Independent.ie: Arnold's maid doesn't do windows but does do "the Sperminator"

Hondo, the sports-betting, prognosticating guru of the New York Post, had a good line from a column contributor who said: "Everyone thought Arnold would make Maria a Republican, but instead she turned him into a Kennedy".

Hey mister, how much for that lil' froggy in the cell?

Quips of the day RE: Dominique Strauss-Khan:

Former Kerry football great Donie O' Sullivan: "One would think that at his age he would be afraid to take YES for an answer.

Kissell NYPD's finest (retired 25 year veteran): It appears he was caught thinking with the wrong head!

Frogs Gone Wild; Forget Paris, It's Rikers Island for "The Busted"

I am sure that IMF head honcho DSK, as he has become known, is enjoying the wonderful hospitality of Riker's Island, where as Lenny Briscoe of Law and Order fame, once noted: "The orderlies will slit your throat for your IV". It calls to mind the title of the Billy Crystal/Debra Winger comedy romance "Forget Paris". How apropos.

Life Imitates Art, well actually, TV; KillingMeSlowly comes to Moneygall, County Offaly

The second season of RTE comedy Killinascully (created, written by and starring Pat Shortt, Ireland's greatest comedian ever IMHO) features an episode called "The Visit", where a cowboy like like US President  Mickey Madison (i.e. Bush) suddenly discovers his ancestral Irish roots in Rathmuff to deflect attention away from a brewing sex scandal (think Clinton and Ballybunion 1998). 

Now we have the Obama BIFFO Replacement Tour about to hit Moneygall on Monday, May 23rd. As Obama's helicopter descends on the local GAA field, he will become the penultimate "blow-in" in the history of Ireland.  Most visitors to Ireland tend to overstay their welcome (possibly David Norris, certainly Richard de Clare, aka, Strongbow). Perhaps this could be the inspiration for a TV series called "KillingMeSlowly", re-casting some of the prominent Moneygall locals in the roles of some of the Killinascully characters:

Oliver Hayes as Jacksie (Proprietor of An Bonnan Bui)
Mary Fanning as Sgt O'Toole (hawking souvenir merchandise to Yanks with more money than brains)
Henry Healy as Dan Clancy (pub know it all and raconteur)
Canon Stephen Neill as Fr. Phillip Eno (popular man of the cloth and promoter of all things Moneygall)
Special guest appearance by Bishop Kearney's corpse as "The Mummy"

Sounds like a hit series to me; might play big in the states as well.

WIT OF THE WEEK

Matt Engel of Wilkes Barres, PA (Rocket Ismail's hometown) wins the WIT OF THE WEEK hands down with his letter to the NY Post suggesting that among Bin Laden's porn stash was "Goats Gone Wild"

http://www.nypost.com/p/news/opinion/letters/osama_bin_lewd_en_porn_again_islamist_iznZAWbdreZkMEOrB6Cn8O

Offaly hurlers hit by injuries; Obama to tog out?

NEWS ITEM: OFFALY HURLING PANEL HIT BY INJURIES
http://www.irishtimes.com/newspaper/sport/2011/0517/1224297117690.htmL

IN TERMS OF MULTICULTURALISM, OBAMA WOULD RAISE THE BAR FROM SEAN OG O"hAILPIN.

Hey FROGGY! Put Down that "Middle Leg"

NEWS ITEM: French IMF chief jailed on rape charges
http://www.irishtimes.com/newspaper/breaking/2011/0517/breaking8.html

First, let me state that rape is not a joke-worthy topic; that said, how can I as an American first, and a first generation Irish American, secondly, and  resist throwing this frog into the boiling water and cooking him.
Allegedly, the complainant stated that the accused charged out of the bathroom naked as she entered the room and shouted "I surrender" in German as he raised his hands. He then forced her to grasp what appeared to be something like a penis, only smaller. As Cindy Adams sez, only in NY kiddies. Then again, this could be good news for Ireland since they now have some moral leverage on the IMF to negotiate a better interest rate. In the words of Paaul Simon: One man's ceiling is another man's floor. Sale la vie.

Eirigi (Socialist Republicans) Protest Queen at Spire on O' Connell St

NEWS ITEM: EIRIGI Protests Queen
http://www.irishtimes.com/newspaper/breaking/2011/0517/breaking31.html

"They retreated down Henry Street where they were joined by the group from the Spire and the crowd moved to Moore Street for a rally. The crowd was addressed by speakers from Éirigí before making its way up Moore Street towards Parnell Street.
Not exactly unexpected but it reminds me of my last visit to Ireland (November, 2009) when I landed 36 hours after Thierry Henry's  hand goal.  As I headed for the Vodafone off O'Connell Street, I kept aking those soccer-loving Dubs this question: WHERE is ON REE Street? I was lucky to get out of there alive, enuf said.

USA: 7 out of 10 say high gas prices hurt! Shocking, gambling in Casablanca!

NEWS ITEM: Dog Bites Man (Yawn!)
http://www.usatoday.com/money/industries/energy/2011-05-16-rising-gas-prices_n.htmS 

The other 3 polled who were unaffected by $4.50 plus per gallon for gas were NYC Mayor Mike (The Indifferent Billionaire) Bloomberg; Bloomie's transpo czar (a.k.a., the bike chic) Janet Sadik-Khan and some homeless (forgive me, SR (sleepin' rough) brigade member) camped out under the escalator in Grand Central Station. Only 17 months left till the "Annointed One" (a.k.a, Mr . GREENjeans) is sent packing and us energy-hungry SOB's can see some "green" (as in dollars) left in our pockets after no longer spending "Fitty" bucks fillin' our gas tanks. AMEN bretheren.

Obama follows Snow Patrol; IC Nothing Sez Croke Park "not identifiably Irish"

Seems that Aisling Redican @ Irish Central.com (see quote below) believes that Obama is not speaking at Croke Park because it is "not identifiably Irish enough". Where ITNOG (in the name of God) does D'Niall OD finds these "writers" who grace his pages? An insane asylum perhaps; such as St Patrick's Mental Hospital in Dublin, an institution funded by a bequest of satirist Jonathan Swift who once described Ireland as the world's largest outdoor insane asylum. 

"Originally Croke Park was to be the venue for the outdoor rally but fears that the stadium would not be filled on a Monday night and the need for an identifiably Irish backdrop have ruled it out" .

Promoter Hired To Organize Obama Gig

The Promotional firm MCD has been hired to promote Obama's Dublin speech on Monday evening, May23rd. Perhaps, both P. Diddy and/or Jimmy Rabbitte (of Commitments fame) were unavailable. Clearly, the President's advisers are worried about paltry attendance (the real reason Croke Park and its 82,000 capacity were mooted) at his sppech on O'Connell Street. Perhaps if Obama "just lays there" (to quote Snow's Patrol's "Chasing Cars" refrain) outside the GPO, 5000 or so of dublin's finest will stop and take a gander at the President on whose watch the US' economic performance could best be described by the county of his : "Offaly" (pronounced "awfully" for those of you reading this from the confines of the Hyannis compound). This calls to mind the scene in "This is Spinal Tap" when reporter Marty DeBergi (Rob Reiner) asks the band's Manager(played by English comedian Tony Hendra)  if  the band playing much smaller venues on the tour was an indication of the band's declining popularity; Hendra's response was one for the ages in terms of spin: "No we have just chosen to be selective in our fan base on this tour". Ditto for Obama and his BIFFO replacement tour.

Queen To Plant Tree; Black and Tans Planted A fair Number of Paddy Trees

News Item: Queen to plant Tree at Phoenix Park : Black and Tans planted a fair number of west Cork residents during War of Independence

Ah yes, life's rich ironies indeed. If one lives long enough, one sees things that they once would have considered unimaginable. Sadly, many of our fellow Irishmen who sacrificed their lives for the SAOIRSE did not have that same opportunity to see the changes that time inevitably begets. Let us remember them in our prayers, lest we forget the great debt we owe them; it is a debt that makes the Celtic Tiger "bill" pale in comparison. In the words of the immortal Thomas Osborne Davis, poet laurete of the Young Ireland uprising of 1848: For freedom comes from God's right hand, but needs an earthly train, and righteous men must make our land, A NATION ONCE AGAIN. Let us salute the memory of the irish locomotive of freedom.

Black Jesus feeds the starving masses! Hallelujah!

News Item: Irish Independent 5/16/11:

Since the main street "village" is not even half a mile in length, if my usually excellent memory serves me correctly, it is no surprise that "adequate" facilities are just not there to feed the masses that will be thronging to greet the "Anointed One". Perhaps , BO the POTUS can perform a miracle along the lines of Jesus at the wedding feast of Cana with the wine combined with the miracle of the fishes and the loaves to satisfy the hunger and thirst of the local BIFFO's and BUFFALO's, as well as the homeless created by the Celtic Tiger meltdown. Even Tipperary fans straggling north after the annual beat down by Kerry might expect to enjoy the largess of the man who promised to "heal the oceans" (how about starting with the economy first, Mr. President).

I don't know how many have ever read NBA great Connie Hawkins' biography Foul (written By Dave Wolf) where he describes a bus from Philly unloading at the Rucker tournament circa 1966. The last one off the bus is a waif-like figure wearing one Converse white high top and one Converse black low top; as he descends the final steps, the crowd begins to chant "Black Jesus, Black Jesus". One can envision a similar scenario when Barry Dunham (to emphasize the roots which cause him to visit the Ol' Sod) exits the helicopter Monday afternoon and suddenly the mass' thirst and hunger are satiated. Otherwise, the Moneygall visit may just be a background for a "famine re-enactment" theatre group; let's call 'em "Brian Cowen and the BIFFO Players". TO BE KIHNTINUED to quote an 80's music icon's album.